I Know I'm Not the Only One(But It All Hurts Just the Same)
by Don'tTouchMeOrYou'llDie
Summary: "It's the oldest story in the world. One day you're 17 planning for someday and then quietly, without you ever noticing, someday today. And then someday yesterday. And this is your life."
1. Chapter 1

**I Know I'm Not the Only One (But in The End, It All Hurts Just the Same)**

 **Summary: "It's the oldest story in the world. One day you're 17 planning for someday and then quietly, without you ever noticing, someday today. And then someday yesterday. And this is your life."**

 **Chapter One:** **You and Me, We Made a Vow…For Better or For Worse**

 _"_ _They were too near to me. I loved them to much. And the love overtaking me and combined with the fact that I was going to spend another evening alone, doing nothing with it, being waited down to motionlessness by my own actions made me want to get it over with and fucking be alone."_  
 _―_ _ **Courtney Maum**_ _,_ _ **I Am Having So Much Fun Here Without You**_

* * *

They say the wife is always the last to know.

Except that Brooke had always known, and she married him anyway. She had been married to Lucas Scott for six years. Brooke had discovered that she was pregnant shortly after Nathan and Hayley's wedding. Lucas apologized for kissing Peyton and promised that he would be there for her and the baby every step of the way.

After months of Lucas trying to win her back, Brooke had finally agreed to give him a chance at championship game. Brooke eventually forgave Peyton for what happened and they agreed to be friends again. Peyton and Lucas stayed away from each other for the duration of her pregnancy, not wanting to stress the baby…then her water broke. She gave birth to a baby boy they named James Lucas Scott. Lucas proposed to her in the delivery room and Brooke said yes. Brooke and Lucas got married, and Karen helped with the baby while they went to college.

Two years later, Brooke started her own fashion line and went into business with Victoria, and Lucas's novel got published. It was like a dream come true.

That night, Lucas called Peyton to tell her about his novel, while Brooke was on the phone with Hayley. He was still on the phone when she went to sleep.

"We spend all our time building something up and then we don't enjoy it. We just sit there terrified that someone is going to take it away from us," Brooke said, washing the dishes, and staring out the window where her husband her and best friend were playing with Jamie.

Lucas picked Peyton up and swung her around, both laughing as he threw her in a pile of leaves. Jamie jumped on his father's back, making him fall to, and the three of them were smiling.

They looked like the perfect blonde family.

"Are you okay?" Hayley asked, and Brooke blinked, turning around to look at her friend.

"Of course," she said, placing the plate on the rack, "Why wouldn't I be?"

Hayley didn't say anything, and Brooke hated the silence.

"We're a power couple, Hayley," Brooke babbled, "Lucas is a famous novelist, and I have my fabulous fashion line. but we still found time to have a big family. We already have two boys. All we need is a little girl to complete the picture,"

"Brooke," Hayely started, but Brooke kept going.

"Lucas coaches little league and I bake treats for the team," Brooke said, "And we spend our summers in our beach house and last winter we went to the Southern France,"

"Brooke,"

"But it doesn't matter where we are, as long as we're together, Hayley," Brooke forced a smile, "And we're always together, Hayley. We're a family,"

Jamie, their six-year-old, who outside playing with his father and his Aunt Peyton. Keith, there four-year-old, who was in the living room with his Uncle Nathan.

"Brooke, what's going on with you and Lucas?" Hayley asked, and Brooke heard the back door open.

"Hey, pretty girl," Lucas greeted, coming behind her and kissing her cheek.

"Hey, Husband," Brooke turned her head to catch his lips with hers, out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Peyton look away.

"Momma," Jamie, tugged at her dress.

"Yes, Jamie," Brooke pulled away from Lucas, to look down at their son.

"Can I have a cookie?" he asked, and Brooke smiled, ruffling his hair.

"Of course, baby," she stated, and Lucas went to the cabinet to get them snacks.

"I got it," he said, "Come on, let go share with your brother,"

Lucas, Peyton, and Jamie left the kitchen and Brooke turned back to Hayley.

"We're the same as we've always been," Brooke answered, a sad smile on her face.

Hayley stared at her for a long moment, then nodded.

"And you're happy, right?" Hayley said, and Brooke's smile dipped, her eyes flicking to the copy of the comet in Hayley's hands.

 _It was a comet. The boy saw the comet and he felt as though his life had meaning. And when it went away, he waited his entire life for it to come back to him. It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life: direction, beauty, meaning. There are many who couldn't understand, and sometimes he walked among them. But even in his darkest hours, he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him, and his world would be whole again..._

"How are you and Nathan?" Brooke asked, changing the subject.

Later, after Hayley and Nathan left and the kids went to bed.

Brooke, Lucas, and Peyton sat on the couch talking and catching up.

She was waiting for him to ask. He always asked.

"Hey, I'm going to drive Peyton home," Lucas said, standing up, "Her car won't start so i'm going to have a look at it while i'm there, is that okay?"

Is that okay?

"Just don't be gone to long," Brooke ordered, and Lucas smiled.

"I'll be home as soon as I can," he leaned down to kiss her, "I love you, pretty girl,"

"I know," Brooke replied, becuase he did love her.

She never doubted that she was the one that he loved. But she wasn't the only girl in his heart.

"See you later, B, Davis," Peyton said, giving her a hug, "Get some rest,"

"I will," she said, tired.

She wished they would just leave already. Looking at the two of them together was making her sick.

Once the door slammed, Brooke went to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine.

 **They say the wife is always the last to know.**

 **Except that Brooke had always known, and she married him anyway.**

* * *

 **Author's note: Brooke was pregnat in season 4, not Hayley. Brooke still broke up with Lucas, but she didn't date her english teacher, she and Lucas got back together at the championship game. They got married after high school.** **Brooke still went into business with Vicotoria, and she lets her mom do most of the company work while she stays home with the kids.**

 **This is a Brucas Story and it has a happy ending so don't worry.**

 **Things aren't exactly the way Brooke thinks they are.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I Know I'm Not the Only One (But in The End, It All Hurts Just the Same)**

 **Summary: "It's the oldest story in the world. One day you're 17 planning for someday and then quietly, without you ever noticing, someday today. And then someday yesterday. And this is your life."**

 **Chapter Two: I Can't Believe You Let Me Down…But The Proof Is In The Way It Hurts**

 _"Already things are changing; it´s starting with small shit but oh it´s starting, the change, the irrevocable, impossible change."_  
 _― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce_

* * *

"Mommy, when's Daddy coming home?" Keith asked, looking up from his plate, and Brooke looked into those familiar hazel eyes.

Keith had her eyes and her hair color but he had Lucas's chin and his forehead. He was going to be gorgeous when he got older.

"Soon," Brooke lied, wondering the same thing.

The was the third time that Lucas hadn't shown up for dinner. He would come home after the boys were asleep and he'd be in a dark mood. Brooke wondered if after spending the night with Peyton he'd come home hating his burden of a family, but Lucas frown always faded when he saw her.

"Daddy never wants to eat with us anymore," Jamie said, putting down his fork, and Brooke stared into the same blue eyes of her husband.

Jamie was like his clone, and she stared at him trying to find any trace of herself. He had her nose and her ears.

Lucas used to always come home for dinner. He said that Karen, Haley, and him used to always eat dinner together before he joined the basketball team. He'd thought it was stupid at the time but once he got older he found that he really missed it. Then a few months ago, he started being late, but he would still come back in time to sit at the table with his boys and tuck them into bed.

Now, he was probably eating dinner with Peyton, over candlelight and red wine, with some of Peyton's depressing music playing in the background.

"Your father's been busy," Brooke said, automatically, "Between his new book and coaching the Raven, he's running himself a little then. Things will get back to normal soon,"

"You promise?" Keith asked, both he and Jamie looking at her expectantly.

Brooke looked down at the dinner she cooked, Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes, and corn, Lucas's favorite food.

"Eat your dinner, before it gets cold," Brooke said, gesturing for her boys to eat, with a forced smile, "Your father will be here soon,"

"Shouldn't we wait for him?" Jamie asked, and Brooke sighed.

"Your father will eat later," Brooke said, looking at the fourth plate at the table, she'd wrap it up and put it in the fridge.

Brooke started eating, even though she wasn't hungry. She thought about the girl she used to be. 17-year-old Brooke never would've taken this. She would've yelled at Lucas and her traitor of a best friend, kicking them both out of her life.

But she wasn't 17 anymore and she had two little boys who needed their father…even if he wasn't here. She knew she'd have to confront him eventually, but for now…

"How about we go to the zoo tomorrow?" Brooke asked, trying to cheer up her boys.

"With Daddy?" Keith asked, and Brooke shrugged.

"Maybe," she said, lightly, "Then afterwards we can get ice-cream,"

"Ice cream!" both boys cheered, and Brooke smiled, glad that she could cheer up her boys.

"But only if you finish your dinner and get to bed," Brooke tried to look stern and her boys reluctantly started to eat.

Brooke listened to her boys chattering away, trying to keep her mind from wondering to that dark place in her head. She knew Lucas couldn't be with the Ravens. She'd run into Skills a few weeks ago, and Skills said that Lucas had been suspended from coaching after he grabbed a kid during the game. Yet Lucas never said anything to her about it. He still put on his coach uniform and left, saying he was going to work.

Brooke had started to say something, but then her boys had come in and she didn't want to argue in front of them. But that was proof, wasn't it? He wasn't at work and he wasn't at home, so, where was he?

Brooke thought of Peyton and wondered how her friend could do this to her. This wasn't just a stupid high school romance, this was her marriage, her family. Brooke balled her hand into a fist around her fork, then let it go.

The front door opened, and Brooke was surprised to hear Lucas call out for them.

"Dad!" Jamie shouted, sliding out of his chair and running to meet his father, with his brother following him.

"Hey, guys," Lucas said, picking up his boys, grunting a little under their weight, "How's it going?"

The boys started babbling, but Brooke just stared at her husband. He was still wearing his coach uniform, but he didn't appear to be in a bad mood this time.

Lucas's smile widened when he saw her and he put down the boys to take her into his arms.

"Hey, pretty girl," Lucas said, kissing her and Brooke kissed back, her arms looping around his neck, "I missed you today,"

"You did?" Brooke questioned, and Lucas kissed her cheek, before letting her go and ruffling Jamie's hair.

"Good, I made it back in for dinner," Lucas let out a relieved sigh, "And you made my favorite,"

Brooke hated herself for the happiness she felt having him home. Lucas sat down in front of his plate, not complaining about the fact that it was a little cold, his sons sitting next to him, trying to soak as much attention as they could from their father, while she slipped away under the guise of getting Lucas something to drink.

Once in the kitchen, Brooke laid her head against the refrigerator, closing her eyes. She wasn't sure how much more of this she could take.

She took a deep breath and made her way back out into the dining room with his beer and Lucas took it from her, still smiling.

"Thanks," he said, touching her hip, and Brooke moved away from him.

"You're welcome," Brooke said, searching his eyes for a sign, but all she could see was blue happiness.

Brooke turned away, starting to clear the plates away.

"Dad, will you come to the zoo with us tomorrow?" Keith asked, nervously, "Mom said she would get us ice-cream afterwards,"

"Of course, I'm coming," Lucas promised, "I love ice-cream,"

Brooke was heading to the kitchen again, with the plates, and left overs.

"Hey, can you guys give me a minute alone with your mom?" Lucas asked, and Brooke froze, "Go brush your teeth and put on your pajamas. I'll be up soon to tuck you guys in and read you a story,"

Brooke listened to her boy's protest and continued walking to the kitchen, scraping food into the trash, and putting the dishes in the sink. Brooke decided to start washing them. She was elbow deep in soapy water, when Lucas came into the kitchen.

"Brooke?" Lucas said, and Brooke made a noise to let him know that she was listening, "Are you happy?"

Brooke flinched, wondering why everyone kept asking her that.

"Sometimes," she said, not looking at him, "Not always, but I think that comes with getting older."

Lucas was quiet and Brooke turned around to face him.

"Are you happy, Luke?" she asked, and Lucas nodded.

"I'm always happy when I'm with you and the kids," he said, moving closer to her, "Is something wrong?"

"Wrong?" Brooke repeated, and Lucas put his hands on her shoulders.

"You've been quiet lately and Millie said that you were having trouble coming up with your new line," Lucas said, and Brooke sighed.

"You talked to Millie?" Brooke asked, and Lucas shook his head.

"Peyton talked to Millie," Lucas said, and Brooke suddenly felt cold, "She said she stopped by your store but Millie said you went home early,"

"When did you see Peyton?" Brooke asked, quietly, and Lucas frowned.

"She called me to ask about you," he said, and Brooke was sure he was lying, "Are you sick?"

Brooke shook her head.

"Then what is it?" Lucas asked, and Brooke wouldn't look at him.

"I-" Brooke started, and then they heard little feet running down the stairs.

"We're ready for bed!" Keith cheered, wearing his Toy story pajamas.

"Come on, Dad," Jamie said, in his basketball pajamas.

Lucas hesitated, looking between her and the boys.

"Go," Brooke said, and Lucas looked confused.

"Brooke?"

"Go, we'll talk later," Brooke said, and Lucas kissed her forehead, before heading off to tuck in their kids.

Brooke waited until she heard them heading up the stairs, then she went to the living room, searching Lucas bag until she found his phone.

She looked at his call log and saw that he had called Peyton a few hours before he got home. She hit the call button and waited.

"Hey, Luke," Peyton said, cheerfully, "Did you make it home alright?"

Brooke said nothing.

"Luke?" Peyton called, and Brooke hung up, putting his phone back where she found it.

Brooke felt tears well up in her eyes, then she forced them back, grabbing her bottle of wine and heading upstairs. She peeked in on Lucas and saw him reading his book, _An Unkindness of Ravens,_ to the boys. The boys were looking at him and Lucas looked so happy to be with his kids.

She made her way to her room, and sat on her bed, drinking straight from the bottle.

When Lucas came to bed, he found his wife asleep in bed. He smiled, shaking his head, and pressed a kiss to her face, pulling the covers over her, and slipping in beside her.

"Good night, pretty girl," he whispered, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close, before he went to sleep.

* * *

 **Author's note: Please review and let me know what you think :)**


End file.
